But under any circumstances, is faking it, really a good idea? First and foremost, it is dishonest, and at a time when each person is at their most intimate and vulnerable. This act may not seem all to major to some, but it leads to discontentment and a subtle dislike of sex, particularly if one finds it difficult to peak every time. Lying about it will not resolve anything because your partner will not know any different.

If you are honest about not being able to orgasm, then you and your partner can work together at figuring out how to bring you pleasure during sex. This can be done in a gentle way too – without just blurting out that you never orgasm! This would only hurt their feelings and ruin the mood somewhat! So approach the subject tenderly, and be ready with your suggestions in place that your partner can do to make you orgasm, even if this only involves some mutual masturbation. Every relationship needs intimacy to survive on that level, and interaction by one another is the key to a healthy sex life. It may be best to discover the ways you orgasm best by yourself, and then introduce them into your bedroom life. This way, your partner will not feel at a loss and confused as to where to start.

Having intercourse to allow your partner to orgasm is a great way to begin the process of pleasuring each other, but make sure your partner is aware that you might not orgasm, therefore you may like some oral simulation, before or after, masturbation, implement the use of sex toys – whatever it is that will allow you to enjoy yourself.

Some people are quite content to please their partner when they cannot orgasm, and this is good particularly if the mood does not take them now and again. But to only have sex to please your partner is not entirely healthy. It allows a one sided pleasure, and will eventually result in resentment and the making of excuses to avoid sex.

So is it ever alright to fake an orgasm? The only time it might be alright, is on a one night stand where you really don’t feel it is going to happen, but you don’t plan on seeing this person again! It may get the job done if you are eager to get out of there, and it will avoid hurting their feelings at that time. But beware – many men can tell when a woman really orgasms. He feels the vaginal muscles contacting, the pupils dilate, the chest and neck often flushes pink, the nipples harden… These things are mostly out of the control of a woman, so if your partner knows what he is looking for, he will know if you are faking it!

Now, this blog wouldn’t make much sense if everything was fine in the sex department! Fact is until I was 24 I’d never had an orgasm. Not once.

I spent much of my teenage years tracking the elusive beast on daily safari’s with no success. I tried numerous ‘toys’, various positions and quite a few cocks, nothing worked. I spent hours reading Cosmo religiously while trying to figure out what was wrong with me.

Fact is that research has proven that at least 12% of all married women have never experienced orgasm. Realistically, I think the actual figure is closer to 20%. While 75% don’t orgasm during intercourse.

At the time I felt I was the only one with these problems, that I was somehow to blame or broken. I can honestly say I have never been so depressed, it was led to the breakup of 2 relationships, I was at my wits end.

I’ve been planning on writing this blog for a while now. I don’t want other women to go through what I went through. I want to be able to point them to the advice and research I read, to be able to help them. This blog is very much my personal journey and what I’ve discovered and turned up along the way. If you’re after more general advice then I also write for a sexual advice blog covering a range of topics from fantasies to dildos and how to choose a vib!

So, in a nutshell, that’s me. Let’s get going…